Texan Mosaic

by CHESANIE BRANTLEY/Editor-in-Chief

At Capitol Pictures in the 1950s, each day was different than the next.

In “Hail, Caesar!,” Eddie Mannix (played by Josh Brolin) is the guy who cleans up the mess that stars of Capitol Pictures make. His latest stars are a beautiful swimmer, DeeAnna Moran (played by Scarlett Johansson) and a singing cowboy, Hobie Doyle (played by Alden Ehrenreich). The other stars assigned to him are a very talented dancer, Burt Gurney (played by Channing Tatum), and a Roman called Baird Whitlock (played by George Clooney).

Mannix is in the process of making sure that the four movies including the stars go on without a hitch. Mannix even consults with leaders of various religions to make sure their movie about a Roman meeting Jesus is accurate. Everything is going fine until Whitlock gets kidnapped. Whitlock has a history of disappearing and going on drinking binges, so Mannix did not think much of this until the kidnappers got in contact with him wanting money.

Whitlock is shown to be kept at a very nice house overlooking the ocean by a group of communist, who worked for Capitol Pictures. The group is actually very kind to Whitlock and explain to him how he is being used to get back at Capitol Pictures.

“Hail, Caesar!” has big-name stars, but they do not get much screen time. Johansson has about two scenes all together, and the same can be said about Tatum. Clooney did get more screen time than the other stars, but he was kidnapped for most of the movie, so he still was not very present.

Meanwhile, Mannix is still running around making sure everyone is happy and keeping reporters away from the story of Whitlock getting kidnapped. He also has meetings with another company that wants Mannix to work for them.

The end was the worst part of the movie. There was a submarine that showed up, and Gurney, who turned out to be the communist leader, got in it with his dog and lost the money the group had gotten from Capitol Pictures in the ocean. Then, everyone just rows back like nothing happened.

During that time, Doyle finds Whitlock and brings him back to Mannix. Once Mannix slaps him around, everything is back to “normal.” Mannix also decides to turn down the job with the other company.

“Hail, Caesar!” was choppy and quite frankly just did not make sense. There were big-name stars who were barely in the movie, there were random scenes that did not make sense, and I still do not understand what the point of the movie is. The movie did not live up to expectations.

The previews for this movie were also misleading, since it seemed like it was going to be more about Whitlock’s kidnapping. It felt like that was more of a side story. I give it 1 out of 5 stars, just because I love Clooney.