‘Activist Mommy’ should not blame sexual assault on victims

Recently, I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across a video by “Activist Mommy.” I decided to watch it because it had to do with the Me Too Campaign.

If you are not familiar with the campaign, it has to do with sexual assault victims who are speaking up about their assault experiences. The hash tag “#metoo” is bringing awareness to the fact that no sexual assault victim is alone.

The first point that this lady made was that some of these victims are, in fact, not victims. The problem with this claim is that this lady does not know what happened or the details of the incident, so it is not her place to tell someone whether they are victims of sexual assault.

Her next claim is that if a boss invites you back to his hotel room, it means he only wants one thing, and every woman should know this. In the Hollywood film industry, the cast may travel out of town to film. For a woman starting out in this industry, it would be easy to mistake a person in charge inviting you back to their hotel room to discuss professional matters.

Although it is unlikely, it would be an easy mistake to make, but that does not mean these women were asking to be assaulted or were perfectly fine with what went down. What took place behind those closed hotel doors, no one knows about. So this lady has no place to claim that these women are not victims but were asking for it.

One of the major points of rape culture and the Me Too campaign is that women who are victims of sexual assault are not to blame for what happened to them. There may have been misjudgment or poor decisions, but at the end of the day, no victim of sexual assault should be faulted for what happened.

The next point Activist Mommy made was that if a man tries to force himself upon you, “kick him in the nuts, gouge his eyes, scream, run, report it to the police immediately, who will find the hurt man and arrest him.” There are many flaws in this point she tried to make. There are many possibilities when sexual assault happens. In a scenario where a woman is slipped drugs, she has no control over her body and is physically unable to fight back. Most likely, she will not remember the events that took place. This statement is probably the most insensitive point made, because in the moment it is hard for women to fight back. Not everyone is prepared at any moment to fight off sexual assault.

Most of the sexual assault reports are overlooked by police unless there is physical proof on the woman’s body of it happening. If a woman fights against a man and leaves him with wounds and no physical damage on herself, the man could easily claim he was the one assaulted. Because of people such as Activist Mommy, the authorities would believe the hurt man rather than the woman. Also, women, especially in Hollywood, do not report the assault because the man in charge could easily threaten them with their job or convince them that no one would ever believe them.

She ends her statement about reporting the assault to the police that the victim will be a hero. Of course, a woman who fought back and got to the police immediately would be a hero. But a victim who is speaking up about sexual assault, rape, or inappropriate touching, or who are reaching out to victims who are too scared to speak up about what happened or may still be happening are also heroes. Any victim bringing light to the situation and letting other victims know they are not alone by using the Me Too Campaign are heroes.

me tooOne person speaking up about what happened could save a life, and the fact that now more and more women are speaking up using the Me Too campaign proves that these victims are heroes.

For so long, most of these victims were too scared to speak up about what was happening, and what was happening to them was not OK. The campaign has brought so many survivors’ stories to light because they finally realized they were not alone.

Every victim who has spoken up about their story is a hero. It angers me that some ignorant lady on Facebook has to take such a positive and uplifting campaign and call “bull” just because they were not able to fight back or were too scared to report the assault. It does not matter when a victim decides to speak up about it. What matters is that they finally decide to speak up about it and let other victims know they are not alone. These victims will always be heroes in my eyes.

“What happened to taking a stand for what’s right?” asked Activist Mommy, as she explains that these “fake victims” were just sleeping their way to the top. This lady claims that most of these victims were, in fact, not victims but just slept their way to the top. She claims that if the boss determines whether to keep your job based on sexual favors, then just quit.

The problem with this statement is most of the time the victims won’t lose their job based on the sexual favors they will do for them, but whether they will snitch about the sexual acts they were forced to do. No one has the place to tell someone whether they are a victim other than the people who physically witnessed the abuse. Activist Mommy does not have the understanding and enough facts to say that these women are just making it all up.

me too 3The “Me Too” movement is a great way for victims and survivors to tell their story. They encourage others going through the same thing to keep their head up and stand up for themselves. This movement is about victims and surviors finally speaking up and using their voice to finally bring light to the situation. If that is not standing up for what matters, then I do not know what is.

Activist Mommy mentioned the first person she claimed was guilty rather than a victim. Salma Hayek came out about her alleged sexual harassment by Harvey Weinstein. He would harass her and claim she was a nobody, but he gave her a shot anyway. Activist Mommy claimed Hayek was guilty rather than a victim because of a lesbian sex scene in one of her films. This lady believes that someone who shoots a sexual scene for a movie is not a victim of sexual harassment because “how slutty is that?”

Hayek explained in her statement about why she agreed to do this scene. He would not stop harassing her after she put five years of effort into this film. It is understandable that she would agree to do this so she could finally be done with the film and escape her monster.

This whole idea that women who are not pure and innocent cannot be sexually harassed or assaulted is completely wrong. She has not only claimed that these victims are guilty, but that they are now “sluts.” It amazes me that someone who has spent years dealing with this trauma and finally decided to speak up is now being called offensive names.

According to Activist Mommy, all of this harassment could have stopped with a simple “no.” In Hayek’s statement, she explained how many times she said no to doing favors for Weinstein. Activist Mommy makes it seem like anyone who has ever experienced sexual harassment or assault just simply could not say no, which is not true in the slightest.

Next, she mentions Addie Collins. Addie Collins’ scandal has nothing to do with the “Me Too” campaign. She confessed about her affair with Matt Lauer, formerly of the “Today Show” on NBC-TV. She never claimed she was a victim, but instead that she was guilty. Activist Mommy made remarks like “he didn’t hold a gun to your head.” Although this wasn’t a sexual assault situation, sexual assault can happen without deadly weapons being held to one’s head. I’m not sure what point Activist Mommy is trying to make, other than the fact that she has no knowledge about sexual assault.

She begins to ease toward the end of her video by explaining that everyone is at the point where “we’re rolling our eyes about the next sexual harassment victim.” The whole point of the “Me Too” movement is to give victims a voice and be able to speak up about what happened to them in a safe environment. No one coming forward about the struggles they faced should be greeted with an eye roll. Just because more and more people are coming forward about sexual assault does not mean that it’s fake or they’re guilty. That is the whole point of this campaign, to give people back the voice that was taken away from them.

Activist Mommy also claims that this is an assault on natural love between men and women. Since when was being forced and harassed sexually, or groped sexually, considered natural love? This movement is all about having love for other victims and survivors. Love is not about pressure, but about acceptance. As I keep up with this campaign and people’s stories, I have not witnessed any hateful remarks among victims and survivors, only from people who have not dealt with these struggles. This movement is more about love than it is about separating men and women. This movement is not strictly for women who have been sexually assaulted, but also men and boys who were assaulted or harassed.

She ends her video saying this “Me Too” movement was created to “ruin a man over allegations that can’t be proven and making all men out to be perverts.” No man who uses his power over women to force them against their will for his own pleasure should not be allowed to even walk the streets as a free man. When there has been multiple women come forward about the abuse they faced from one man, there does not need to be any physical evidence.

Not all men are perverts, but not all of them are innocent. The same goes for women. I do not understand how Activist Mommy can believe that these victims are lying and are just out to ruin men. Not all of these victims are women, but a majority is because men can easily overpower women. Some men are capable of abusing women, especially men with power. Not all men would even consider treating women this way. This movement is not a fight about women being superior to men, but giving victims of sexual assault a voice and a safe place to come forward about the abuse.

This video made me incredibly angry because someone was able to turn a positive and empowering movement into something negative and call victims nasty names, claiming it’s just for attention. So many victims who come forward to someone in authority about abuse at home or from someone close to them are told that they are only doing this for attention.

One out of every six women is a victim of sexual assault. This movement is not about attention, but letting victims know that it is OK to speak up, and that you are not alone. The struggles that these victims face impact their whole life. This movement is a great way to show that it could impact your life in a positive way.

All of these victims who spoke up about their abuse are strong and even inspiring. This movement is one of the most important movements that is going on today, because it is about becoming a strong survivor instead of just a victim.

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